by Xypher Pino

For most of us, the new year serves as a starting point for new beginnings. With that, comes resolutions – the promise to adopt new behaviors, to stop negative habits and even, for some, to completely change major aspects of life. I find no issue treating the new year as a checkpoint for change. I have done the same many times for almost every year of my life. Change is good; seeing the flaws in life and deciding to better yourself is something I can always praise. The problem arises when we consider whether people can consistently follow through with these changes. Unfortunately, most people, myself included, do not.

Working out every day for the rest of the year, watching every Spurs game for the rest of the season, reading all of Agatha Christie’s books – I have had many new years’ resolutions just over the past two years, even some less extreme ones, such as flossing every day or cleaning my car once a month. However, I have a very poor track record when it comes to actually getting these promises ingrained into my regular habits and daily routine. The difficulty of the resolutions, whether too easy or too hard, could play a role, but lack of consistency is the main contributing factor.

Every time I have something new to try, something to work into my daily habits, starting is never difficult; when motivation is at its highest, that is usually when these types of promises happen anyway. For almost all of my goals primarily built upon motivation, I always start strong. The first couple of days are always the best – I feel great accomplishing these new tasks, I get everything done on schedule and feel like a new person. Gradually, though, as time passes and motivation decreases, it becomes increasingly hard to maintain the habit. Eventually, the habit completely dissipates and all there is to think about is how I failed.

Why is consistency so difficult? Could it be the underlying motives of the initial task at hand? Is it an unconscious trait that we all share? Or, maybe it is our environment or surroundings that prevent us from accomplishing what we want. Regardless of the reason, the most interesting point for me is that no matter how badly or quickly I may have failed, nothing has ever stopped me from repeating the same thing in the future, from trying again. There have been countless times where I failed the same resolution and promise of change, but I always try again. This is not a testament to who I am as a person, but instead a testament to human nature.

We have an innate drive to better ourselves. No matter what it takes, how many tries or the situation – we always want more and better. This mindset can be both good and bad. The idea of self-actualization, or reaching your ultimate potential, is something that many of us believe in and strive for – it is one of the main driving forces of my life, why I always dream big and reach for the stars. At the same time, though, this is one of the main reasons why I can see myself never being satisfied with what I have or who I am.

Instead of being grateful for what I have, I tend to always think about what more I could have. I focus on what I could be, when I should be focusing on what I already am. I am grateful for my unwavering determination to better myself in certain aspects of life, but at the same time this result-driven thinking is what prevents me from improving in the first place, from keeping myself consistent.

Living in such a fast-paced world, we often do not have enough time or patience to achieve our personal goals and yet, we always have goals – things we wish to happen, the image we want to be, our perfect selves. Whether we succeed or not, goals are the engine that power our everyday lives.

The most consistent thing in my life is my ability to set goals and dream big, focusing on the result instead of the journey. This way of thinking is praised in the society we live in, but I do not think this is necessarily a bad thing. Acknowledging this truth essential if we truly want to create significant change in our lives. I implore all to have goals and dreams because we all deserve to picture ourselves in the best possible light. All the focus cannot be based only on this though – to reach milestones, you must remain committed to the process.

Let us recognize the need for both goal-oriented thinking and focusing on the process, as they feed off one another. Without a destination, there is no journey – a destination is only set if you know the journey. To become your best self, you must be consistent in both your motivations and the process.

The difficulty of staying consistent is something many struggle with, and that is totally acceptable. If you are self-aware of this problem, I give you credit for knowing the first step in improving yourself: recognizing your flaws. I challenge you to join me on this journey of becoming more consistent in working toward your goals. Let us be consistent in our motivations and the process, so that we can become the best versions of ourselves.